Saturday, June 30, 2012

Saturday Centus - Climb Every Mountain

 Jenny Matlock

Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN of Saturday Centus.

How about a picture prompt this week?



Number of words: 100
Style of writing: Any
Pictures: Any additional you want to share

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer. Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday.



Friday, June 29, 2012

Itching for a Smack Down!

Everything I do is perfect.

I’m a princess through and through.

I walk and eat and dress and act

perfectly. Yes, I do!

Everything I do is wonderful.

I’m amazing through and through.

I blink and smile and laugh and cry

wonderfully. Yes, I do!

Everything I do is fantastic.

I’m entitled through and through.

What I want I want, and I deserve it

RIGHT NOW! Oh, yes, I do!

What I want I want! Don’t roll your eyes!

You’re just jealous I’m so fine.

My Daddy says my pout is adorable!

He says, “It’s an amusing little whine!”


This little poem is linked to week 112 of Saturday Centus.   To read other offerings use the bolded prompt...just click here.

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Painting a few "F''s"

Today I have three "F's" to share.

  I hope you enjoy this little journey through the painted alphabet with me!

F



No stencils.   No stickers.  Handpainted with my own layout.

You can see other signs in this series by clicking on 'Painted
Alphabet' in my sidebar.


Thanks for stopping by.   To visit other links to the letter 'F' , just click here.
PS.  When I get back from vacay, I'll set it up so you can order any signs you like!  I'm determined to get a bike!  I'll have to show you a picture of the one I'm infatuated with!
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Click Here for my Etsy Store.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Alphabe-Thursday Letter F

 

Good morning class. Welcome to round five of Alphabe-Thursday!

Today we will be frolicking with the letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by the following Thursday evening, please let me know!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Saturday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please share your fanciful F post now!




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I can't tell you how cute our new Grandlittle is...

...because...

...because...

I haven't seen him yet!

Oh sure, he's beyond adorable in all of his pictures...

Oh sure, he's mighty sweet when he wiggles on skype...(I think if you click that little arrow at the bottom left a little movie will start...I'm a bit challenged loading video still)


Oh sure, he's...

He's...

He's...

Waaaahhhh!

He is in Oregon and I haven't met him yet!

But that's about to change.

Yes!  It's ROAD TRIP time!

And at the end of the road trip, I'm gonna get to hold little Quinn.   And snuggle down into his neck.  And hold his little starfish hand.   And...

...well.

You get the idea!

Next week.

Me and Mr. Jenny.

In a car.

For a long time.

Driving, driving, driving north, north, north to see our new Grandlittle!

I'll tell you more about the trip on Friday.

For now I'm just going to close my eyes and dream about cuddling a sweet little boy close to my heart!

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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I'm not one to brag, but...

...my middle Grandlittle is a genius.

A seriously genius, I tell ya.

You know how there's all kind of trendy, exclusive restaurants now that serve things like only grilled cheese or only things with chocolate in them?

Hey.

Pay attention.

I see you trying to close my blog so you can google "restaurants serving only chocolate".

Geez.

Rude.

Anyway.

As I was saying...

My middle Grandlittle is absolutely insisting I have a restaurant serving...

TA! DA!

Toast.



Toast, toast and only toast.

Apparently, I make the best toast in the world.

Apparently, she thinks not only would it be a big hit in a restaurant, but we could also make a bunch of toast every morning and sell it door to door!

I gently suggested that the menu might be a bit limiting to customers.

"Grandma!" she exclaimed.

(obviously disgusted by my lack of business accumen)

"We can serve all KINDS of toast.  Cinnamon sugar toast!  Peanut butter toast!  Plain toast!  Toast with jelly!"

Gosh.

I feel kind of embarrassed to be so short-sided.

YessirreeBob.

Now that I realize all the possibilities...

My new restaurant is going to be the toast of the town!



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Monday, June 25, 2012

Husbands!

Seriously.

Women would never, ever, ever do what some husbands do.

There you are.

At an event.

Wearing a shirt that you think is slimming.

Feeling all positive about yourself.

And then you get home and download photos.

And...

...ummm...

OMG!

OMG!

Seriously?

Seriously!!!!

Who is that person in those photos?!?

Surely...

Surely...

That is not me.

Me! of the sticking to a dumb diet for 6 weeks now...

Me!  of the walking a bazillion miles in the gazillion degree heat.

Me!

Gosh.

Let me show you what I mean.

Take a deep breath.

Okay.

Here you go!


You seriously didn't think I was going to show you the picture, did you?

Nosirree, Bob.

Ain't gonna happen.

Okay.   Off to walk another gazillion miles in the bazillion degree heat.

And, please...

If you know what's good for you...

Don't let Mr. Jenny take a picture of you...

Sigh...
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Saturday, June 23, 2012

Saturday Centus - It's an amusing little whine

Jenny Matlock

Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE of Saturday Centus.

How about another normal word prompt this week?

The prompt this week is:  'It's an amusing little whine...' (and, yes, the misspelling is deliberate)
Number of words: 100 plus the 5 words of the prompt.   105 total. 
Style of writing: Any
Pictures: Any you want to share

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer. Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday.


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Friday, June 22, 2012

Has it really been a decade?

One.  You wore a hula skirt. 


Two. You smiled and tried to flirt.

 Three. A princess.

Four. So glam.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine

…and then.

…the years kept going…

…you were ten.


How can these years be gone so fast?

How can I make your childhood last?

I thought my kids grew up too fast!

I blink…

I imagine you graduating…

Trying not to blink…

…is so frustrating.

Acceptance is supposed to come with age.

Has it really been a decade?

I close my eyes.

I remember it all.

One. You wore a hula skirt.

Two. You smiled and tried to flirt.

This little rhyme is linked with Saturday Centus number 111.   The prompt is in bold.   To read other uses of this prompt, just click here.

And, yes.   Our oldest Grandlittle. 

Just.

Turned.

Ten.

Still in shock here.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

Painting a few "E's"

Today I have two "E's" to share.

I am really enjoying this task I've set myself to.  I hope you enjoy this little journey through the painted alphabet with me!

E



 
No stencils.   No stickers.  Handpainted with my own layout.

You can see other signs in this series by clicking on 'Painted
Alphabet' in my sidebar.


Thanks for stopping by.   To visit other links to the letter 'E' , just click here.

PS.  Since everyone keeps asking, I am probably going to sell these (and other signs I've been painting) early in the fall!  I want a bike!   I figured that would be a fun goal.

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Click Here for my Etsy store.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Alphabe-Thursday Letter E


Good morning class. Welcome to round five of Alphabe-Thursday!

Today we will be elucidating about the letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by the following Thursday morning, please let me know!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please share your eloquent letter E post now!

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Getting out the big guns.

Our middle Grandlittle is pretty athletic.

She's on a swim team for the summer.

And she thinks her 'guns' are getting pretty big.


When she was here the other day she challenged me to an arm wrestling contest.

I told her she probably didn't want to challenge me because I was pretty strong.

She kind of gave me 'that look'.

You know the one?

"Ummm...yeah...Grandma is old and I can totally kick her behind in this!"

With those thoughts clearly written all over her sweet little face, she perservered.

I finally agreed, and we went to the dining room table.

We squared up our arms.

She pushed.  Hard.

And I just resisted her.

"Grandma!  I thought you said you were strong!   You're not even pushing me down!"

"Okay," I said, "Do you want me to slam your arm down or just lower it gently?  I don't want to hurt you."

She looked skeptical and then informed me to just push her arm down gently.   "I don't think you can Grandma, because I'm pretty strong."

Geez.

She's eight.

I lowered her arm to the table.

She looked quite surprised.

"That was just luck, Grandma!   Let's go again!"

I lowered her arm again.

And a third time.

Finally, she conceded, "Okay, Grandma, you are a lot stronger than you look!   How about a hand squeezing contest?"

I asked her if she was sure she wanted to try.

She agreed but quickly added, "Stop squeezing when I say STOP, okay?"

I agreed.

I squeezed a little bit.

Her eyes got big.

I squeezed a little bit more.

Her eyes got bigger.

"Okay!  Okay!   Stop Grandma!"

Geez.

I was barely even squeezing.

She asked if she could go watch TV and then ran off.

I sat at the table for a few minutes, grinning.

Yep.  I'm old.  And out of shape.

But I can still out arm wrestle an eight year old.


Go me.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

I am a woman now...

...but I am not roaring.

In fact, I'm having a hard time taking a deep breath.

I bought my first sports bra.

Orange, thank you very much.



But I have a question.

Are they supposed to feel like they are squishing your ...ummm...mammary glands into your shoulder blades?

I got the right size. I'm sure cuz I even put my reading glasses on to check the size. TWICE!

Are they supposed to feel like this?

And isn't it kind of like shutting the barn door after the cows get out?

It's not like the sports bra is going to re-perk the already un-perked.

You know.

I'm really beginning to feel like this whole walking gig is just not worth the pressure.

ha!

Get it?

Pressure?

Sports bra?

Ahhhh...

Never mind.

I think the sports bra may have cut off some oxygen to my brain, too.

Another item that has become un-perked over the years.

...

...

Sigh...

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Saturday, June 16, 2012

Saturday Centus - Has it really been a decade?

Jenny Matlock

Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN of Saturday Centus.

How about another normal word prompt this week?

The prompt this week is:  'Has it really been a decade?'
Number of words: 100 plus the 6 words of the prompt.   106 total. 
Style of writing: Any
Pictures: Any you want to share

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer. Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday.


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Friday, June 15, 2012

I fought the law...

...and the law is stupid.

Grrrr.

Grrrr.

So.

There I was walking like a mad woman two mornings ago listening to Haddaway when I was stopped by the bike cops.

I pulled out my earbuds and turned off my Ipod right in the middle of Haddaway wailing, "What is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me...no more..."



Although I started feeling a little law anxiety from the police uniforms, the officers looked to be about twelve years old.

One pulled in front of me blocking the bike line and the other pulled his bike right beside me. 

Obviously they thought I was a flight risk. 

You know.

Middle aged fat woman flees police on foot (or something).

 For some odd reason I blurted out, "Is this about the turtle?" 

They both actually said, "Huh?" in unison.

I looked down and said, "Never mind.   What's up?"

"Well...we need to give you a warning for walking in the bike line."

It was my turn to say, "Huh?" 

Twelve year old number one explained.   "Technically you aren't allowed to walk in the bike lane when there is a sidewalk available."

I said, "Are you kidding me?   I can't walk on the sidewalk.   The sidewalk is concrete!  It hurts my knees.  No.   I don't want to walk on the sidewalk."



Twelve year old number two took out a notepad and a pen and a half sheet of paper.  He handed me the paper and then said, "Ma'am, I need to take down your name."

I put on my reading glasses and looked at the paper which had a bunch of blah, blah, blah about 'revised safety statutes' and more blah, blah, blah.

"I don't care what this says," I said, "I don't want to walk on the sidewalk."

They glanced at each other.  "Well, ma'am.  It's the law.  We're giving warnings for two weeks and then we will start issuing tickets and fines.   Can we have your name please?"

"Seriously?   Seriously, you are going to make ALL of us who walk every morning in the bike lanes WALK ON THE STUPID SIDEWALK WHEN IT HURTS OUR KNEES????   Seriously?!?"

Twelve year old number two tapped on his pad with his pen.  "Your name, please, ma'am.   We need to record that you've been given a warning."

"I don't want to walk on the sidewalk.   Why are you guys doing this?   Why are you changing this.  It's stupid."

Twelve year old number one explained, "We had an incident where there were two bikes going in opposite directions in the bike lane.   Words were exchanged.   Tempers flared.  They had a severe fist fight and both men had to be transported by ambulance over the altercation."

"I don't care," I said.  "It's not my fault if they had too much testosterone.   The sidewalk hurts my knees."

"Ma'am.   We've gone over this.   If you walk in the bike lane we will have to give you a citation.  You can consider this your official warning.  We need your name, please."

So, in the spirit of total rebellion and anarchy...I...ummm...gave them my name.

And then I told them, "This is totally stupid," and huffed off.  Yeah.   That'll teach 'em to make ME walk on the sidewalk.

I guess I didn't look suitably hostile, though,  because one of them yelled after me.  "Ma'am, what were you saying about a turtle?"

I just waved dismissively and kept walking.

But...

Because I am a law abiding (albeit irate citizen) I walked home on the stupid sidewalk  ...GRRRRR...which DID hurt my knees...GRRRRRR... and this morning had to drive to the stupid dirt walking track...GRRRRR... which is totally stupid...GRRRRRR.

On the way home I saw them.   They had another bike lane walker cornered.

I thought I might get in trouble if I ran them over, so I resisted the urge.

GRRRRR...

So, yeah.

I fought the law...

...and the law won.

GRRRRR...

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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Painting my Way Through the Alphabet


Today I have two "D's" to share.

I am not yet daunted usingAlphabet-Thursday for this series of signs. I hope you enjoy this little painted journey along with me.

D
 is for 'Delight. Full.' and 'Dare. Greatly.'




No stencils.   No stickers.  Handpainted with my own layout.

You can see other signs in this theme by clicking on 'Painted
Alphabet' in my sidebar.

Thanks for stopping by.   To visit other links to the letter 'D' , just click here.
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Click Here to visit my Etsy Store.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Alphabe-Thursday Letter D


Good morning class. Welcome to round five of Alphabe-Thursday!

Today we will be discussing the letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by the following Thursday evening, please let me know!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please discuss your dynamic letter D now!

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Guess what?


Never mind!

I'm gonna tell you because you will never in a million/billion years be able to guess right!

I have an Uncle!

It's true.

He lives in Nigeria!



I don't even know where Nigeria is.  I think it's somewhere close to Argentina but I'm not totally sure.

But...

Anyway...

My Uncle from Nigeria wrote me an e-mail yesterday.

He is soooo nice.   Not only did he introduce himself to me AND apologize for not getting in touch with me earlier in my 'lieftime', he wants to send me money.

Lots and lots of money.

3.5 million dollars to be precise.

Yes.

Three.  Point.   Five.  MILLION dollars.



He only needs me to send him a measly $250.00 via Western Union so he can prepare the package to mail me the money!

Isn't that totally exciting?

I am soooo thrilled.

My nice Uncle wants to send me lots and lots of money and all I have to do is help him out with shipping it to me.

Geez.

Who even knew I had an Uncle Terence living in Nigeria?

Geez.

Sorry this is so short but I need to run and get a Western Union off.

Immediately.

...

...

Oh.

What's that?

You think it's an internet scam?

What????

Really??????

Seriously.




I'd appreciate it if you didn't dis' my Nigerian Uncle Terence.
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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Have you ever heard the saying...

...that sweat is fat crying?

It's kind of a cool saying, isn't it?

I was thinking about that saying when I went for my walk yesterday.

You'd think that walking every day would get boring, but actually exciting stuff has been happening.

Like the old, glaring lady walking down the center of the road that I told you about earlier.

But she wasn't nearly as exciting as being within about 10" of becoming road kill from an out of control huge pick-up truck last week.



Really.

I'm not even making this up.

Ten.  Inches.

From.

Being.

Smooshed.

I would write more about this but I'm still kinda/sorta traumatized from my near death experience.

I actually had to take a few days off walking to recover from a knee and a hip that didn't want to turn as quickly as I needed them to.

I had to try and not take it personally when Mr. Jenny called to confirm that my life insurance policy was still in effect.

Geez. 

But after two days of repeating "I almost got killed" (in a whiny and dramatic voice) over and over again, I got right back on the walking wagon...

There were a couple of  uneventful and kinda/sorta non-eventful walking mornings, but yesterday I got to assist in the rescue of a wild animal.

Okay.

It was a turtle.

But it was a big one.

AND I'm fairly certain it was all kinds of wild.  

There it was, just sitting (do turtles actually sit?) right by the yellow line in the road.


(this is not the real turtle.   The one in the street was much bigger and fiercer looking AND there is no yellow line in this picture AND there is not that much grass and trees within about 200 miles of my house)

Another lady on a bicycle and I stopped to figure out what to do with it.

Neither of us had a turtle catching net...

Both of us were afraid to pick it up.   It could have been a snapping turtle...

So...

We both stood in the middle of the road and protected the little turtle fella from uproaching traffic.

"You pick it up and I'll watch for cars," I said.

"YOU pick it up and I'll watch for cars," she said.

Thank heavens a very nice man stopped, put his flashers on, grabbed some burlap out of the back of his vehicle and then HE picked up the runaway turtle while the other lady and I watched for cars.

Then we all walked together to one of the little man-made lakes in our neighborhood and the man gently lowered the turtle into the water.

He poked his little turtle-y head up and then zoomed away.

Ahhhh...

It was pretty sweet in a reptile-y sort of way. 

The other heroic rescuers and I all smiled at each other, and then the man drove off, the woman got back on her bike and I turned my I-pod back on and finished walking home.

After I got home I realized that I really, really need someone to share all this drama with.

Mr. Jenny is still recovering from a broken foot and can't walk with me, so I was thinking maybe you and I could walk together.  

It seems like a good idea, but if you're a sensitive soul, I'm not sure if you'd like to go with.

Because by the time I finish walking, my sweat is really, really crying.

Very, very hard.

And I'm not sure if that would upset you. 

If you think you can handle all the weeping fat, please come...

And bring an assortment of life-saving, animal catching, old lady rescue devices along.

They might come in handy for the next walking adventure.


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